"The Hardest Think I've Ever Loved To Do"

  I can't believe that it is actually time to email my last letter home. Its been a crazy 18 and a half months, hasn't it? Time has just flown by! The title of the email is from a song on The Nashville Tribute CD The Work. It seems fitting for the occasion. Coming home really and truly is the hardest thing I've ever loved to do. I am so so so so so so so excited to come home and see everyone and do everything, but I am also terrified beyond reason to be leaving the mission field here in Washington. I am all packed and loaded into the car. All I have left to do is write this email, have some fun with my zone and then drive to Vancouver to the mission home. Everytime I think about it my stomach gets more and more upset. All I can think about is did I do all that I could for the Lord? Is He pleased with my efforts? Of course the answer is yes, but the thoughts are still there. I know that I could have done better at times, but overall, I was obedient and I worked hard. I was tired every night. More tired than I have ever been in my whole life. Every single second of every single day was worth it! I know that I had some hard times: bouts with homesickness, bouts with my companions, frustrations with the people I was teaching, heartbreaks when people told me that they didn't want to see us anymore, or doors just simply being slammed in my face as they cuss me out and tell me I am going to hell and that I don't believe in the "real Jesus." To anyone else that hasn't been a missionary, those things may seem like enough to just come home and not worry about those hard times. I can say with all of my heart that even those hard times were wonderful. I have learned more than I ever thought that I could. There are the best of times to think of as well! Times when your companions become your best friends, when you see someone you have taught get baptized, when you find someone who is seeking for the knowledge of the gospel and they let it change their lives, when you make friends everywhere you go with members and nonmembers alike, times when you are so down and out then the Lord provides you with a miracle, when prayers are answered in ways that are just perfect for the situation, when you get out and work and it doesn't matter what the results were as long as you knew that you did all that you could, and times when you feel the Spirit of the Lord so strong that there is nothing on heaven or earth that could possibly change the way you feel about your testimony. I want to end this email with my testimony.

           I know that my Savior, Jesus Christ, lives. I know that He loves me and because He loves me, He has taken upon Himself all of my sins and my pains. I know that He will never leave me alone. I know that God lives and that He loves me so much that He willingly gave His sinless son to atone for the world. God provided us with His wonderful plan of happiness. I know where I came from and I why I am on this earth and what will happen to me after I die. I am so grateful that I will be with my family for eternity as we all hold fast to the covenants that we have made. I am so grateful, happy and proud to say that I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I know that the fullness of Christ's gospel can be found within this church. I am grateful for the young farm boy Joseph Smith and his simple question that lead to a spectacular answer that I can not deny to be true. I know that the power of the holy priesthood was restored to the earth. I know that it still is upon the earth today and that all of the keys are held and used by a living prophet, Thomas S. Monson. It is through the power of the Holy Ghost that I know that these things are true. I have felt the burning answer in my heart more times than I could even hope to remember. I love the scriptures! I can't imagine a day with out reading at least a line from them. My soul hungers for the words found in The Book of Mormon and the Holy Bible. I love eveything that prophets both ancient and modern have said to us. All they are doing is teaching us what God wants us to know for our eternal salvation. I am so grateful for the opportunity I had to devote 18 months of my life to the one that gives me life.I have been able to share my knowledge and testimony with people from all over the world, just here in Washington. I am grateful for the love and appreciation that this time has given me towards my family and friends. You all have done so much for me and I am eternally grateful for you. I have been blessed with so many things and I could start a list and never be able to finish it.  To go back to the first and most important item, I know that Jesus Christ is here for me and for everyone. He invites all to come unto Him. He wants to forgive us when we do something wrong. He wants us to come back home. He is willing to do anything for us as long as we are willing to do what He asks. Its really not hard. Its as simple as His doctrine states, we must have faith in Jesus Christ and His atonement, repent, be baptized, receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and endure to the end. He is THE way! He has shown this to us time and time again. We can have happiness forever. I so testify in the name of my Redeemer, Jesus Christ. Amen.

I love you all and I will see you tomorrow!